Wednesday, March 4, 2009

LOST IN THE USHERS OF TYM

“Y r u so sad? I hav been noticing it 4 quite a few days ….”
“Who me??? HeHe… no, I m not sad . Wat gav u d impression dat I was sad ?”
“Dunno …. Nothing expressible ….”

This piece of conversation initially seemed funny 2 me. Der was no reason y dad shud feel I m sad ! I laugh n talk; do d normal routine stuff of eatin n sometyms going out! Even though I cant say dat I m happy, at least I m not unhappy!
Wat cud hav givn dad dat idea ….

Is it true, wat he said??? Is it possible dat I m really sad, only dat I didn’t know it yet.
Maybe my body knows it… jus dat I m stl unaware.
D next tym I caught ma reflection, I looked at it … n realized wat was missin.

D eyes r listless …. Empty.
D voice sounds bored, kinda like it prefers not 2 b heard ….
D smile ends wher it starts, on d lips ….

A year ago, it was different!
I was happy …. Genuinely happy!
Even ma body knew it! I knew it! We were in harmony!
D eyes were shiny n filled with laughter,
The voice bubbly n excited,
D laughter waiting 2 break out on the slightest pretext, an infectious laughter dat used 2 reflect in ma eyes in the form of the tears rolling down my cheeks!
Looking bac, it seems as if I m staring at an entirely different person …

I want dat vivacity bac!
Is it possible … mite b , all I need is 2 b truly happy again n dis thot only propels me into further misery coz I know I cannot b happy ere ….
Ma present life never makes me live …
It only succeeds in keeping me existing

But maybe in a few months tym , it will b different !
I mite b in a different place …
Change is not only possible but mite very well b on er way n sometimes on quite mornings I can even hear her breathe

4 comments:

lone.unicorn said...

hmmm ... seems like u are still on depression mode ... well dear hopeless roommate of mine, u will be ok soon ... ;)

Sreejith Soman said...

hmm...well... bohut der kar di ise padne mai..
well.. wait for the new life it will again take u back to the old hapy days....

Anand said...

nice poem!the tragic nature might touch many hearts..try publishin it..(if u succeed 20% royalty to me for givin u the idea!)..

Jiss said...

Sanni just allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You
There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.